Sunrise, not something I can say I'm too fond of. Mainly for the fact that the sun means I'll burst into flames and end up one big pile of dust. Not really going for that look you know. Miss the sun sometimes, wish I could go out in the day light and well see things for that, got to do that once. When I got that ring of Amarra was able to go out in the daylight and have to say it was a nice feelin'. Course spent a good portion of the time fightin' with the slayer, funny how she couldn't kill me. Not that she could kill me now, well she could but she couldn't cuase I've got myself a soul now and not evil.

Other then that can’t completely remember the last time I saw the sun. Well know it was some time early on the day that I met Dru. Course didn’t spend much time out in the sun cuase I was gettin’ ready for that night. Gettin’ ready to see Cicely and practicing some of my poems. Wasn’t really sure if I was going to say them at all just always had the thought bout sayin’ my poems to Cicely and her fallin’ madly in love with me and tellin’ me how she felt the same way. If I would’ve known what was going to happen I would’ve spent more time outside that day and more time with my mother. Sometimes I really wish mum could see me now. See how much I’ve changed and how strong I’ve become. Wouldn’t want her seeing all the bad things I’ve done but now I had a soul and was fighting against evils.

Muse: Spike
Fandom: BtVs/AtS
Word Count: 285

Could say that one again. Always seem to fall for the one girl. Fell in love with one long ago, name was Cicely and well we all know how that ended up. Ended up in the arms of a vampire becoming the very thing I despise.  Course not that I knew what a vampire was but wasn’t into the whole violence thing. Figured we should look more at the beauty of the world, like poetry so to say. But they all laughed at that anyways, what made me become the monster I did. But always was sweet ol William still inside of me and she brought that out again. The slayer.

Loved the girl and now she was here again playin’ with my mind. Went out savin’ the world, she told me she loved me when I did it. Knew she was just saying it. That’s why I never went after he when I came back, couldn’t bare the thought of her takin’ those words back. Well, now I’m talkin’ to her again. Course she’s with that bloke the Immortal. Don’t get it, what’s so great bout him. What makes him able to be with her and not me. Least I have a soul and am good. Never really know with the Immortal, what he really is. Course he has her all wrapped up in his charm. But then there’s the stuff she said to me the other day. Not sure what to think bout it, not sure what to think bout her anymore.

Really hope she doesn’t read this, then again let her read this. Got nothing to hide from her, already poured my heart out more then enough times to her.

Muse: Spike
Fandom: BtVs/AtS
Word Count: 283

Know a thing or two bout fallin’, you could say I’ve fallen a few times. Always seems to have a thing or two bout a girl. I let that whole love thing get the best of me, once told the slayer and captin’ forehead that I was love’s bitch. Guess I really am. Let Cicely get the best of me back in the day. Wrote some nice poems for her expressing my love and she just stepped on my heart, making me feel worthless. It was mums idea to get me to go out that night. Didn’t even want to go, but she assured me that my poems were beautiful and would steal away Cicely’s heart.

That was my first big fall… The way she left me feelin’, never felt that way before. And that’s when Dru came about. She actually saw something in me. Saw the beauty I had. They called me William the Bloody cuase of my bloody awful poetry they said…well now they would be calling me William the Bloody for another reason. No more Mr. Nice Guy. Used to be so sensitive to. Didn’t like anything evil or bad, just liked the beauty in the world.

And there was my second fall, my fall to darkness. Course I wasn’t really cut out for that. Sure I was damn good at it but still had that soft spot in me. The Judge thought Dru and I felt too much, whole love thing you know. Said we wrecked of humanity. Even as a vampire I couldn’t change who I was. It was like William never left me, he was always there inside of me. Don’t get it though, what made me different from other vampires? Even mum who was the sweetest woman on earth turned into something she wasn’t. That’s how it was suppose to be I thought.

And then there was her. The bloody Slayer. Don’t know how she got in my head like she did. Guess it was the first time I saw her dancing in the Bronze. Something bout her and the way she moved. Sure, always was fascinated with Slayers, thought it was that at first but it turned out to be something different. She was different then the others, couldn’t get her out of my head. Reason why Dru left me. Wanted to prove to Dru that I didn’t go soft but I couldn’t. I couldn’t kill the damn Slayer. And she’s what made me fall the most. So many times she ripped my heart out only to break it in a million pieces then try to put it back together. One minute she wanted me the next she’d tell me to get away. Must’ve been some sort of sick game to her. Didn’t matter how many times she did that to me, I kept coming back for more.

Couldn’t get enough from her…

still can’t get enough…

Muse: Spike
Fandom: Buffy/Angel
Word Count: 485

Bloody slayer, thought she could just have her play with me and I’d be fine. Can’t just do that to a man, well so I wasn’t exactly a man anymore but still the same deal. Just cuase I didn’t have a heart beat and I was considered of the dead doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings either. All I ever wanted was for her to accept me. Hell, she accepted him and he was a vampire too. Oh wait, I forgot Angel had a soul so that made him different. Bugger that. Doesn’t mean a damn thing, soul or no soul I loved the girl. But that’s were I draw the line, no one is going to just use me and throw me out like she does.

That’s right! I’ve had enough and I’m leaving this sodin’ town and heading someplace else. Wasn’t exactly sure where I was going at first but then it clicked in my head, how bout I head over to LA and visit a certain vampire with a soul. He need a good ass kicking for all I’m concerned. Bet you if it wasn’t for him she’d actually be with me now. Only problem is, is this bleedin’ chip they shoved up in my brain. Thing is, I found someone out in LA. Sure, they’ll be using some magic mojo that I’m not too found of but if it gets the job done then I’m all for it.

Can’t stand playing neutered puppy for much longer. Only reason why I was fighting the big bads was because they were all I could fight. Had to get my fun in somehow didn’t I? But once the chip is gone I will be free once again to do as I please. Might even end up having myself a certain slayer. Won’t tell her the chip is gone and when we are alone I’ll just latch out at her. Bet she won’t expect it one bit. Sure she already knows I can hurt her since she came back with a bit of evil up in here but she still believes I’m all for the good team since I got the chip. Course without it I wouldn’t need to be making friends with them I’d have my old life back.

My make my way down one of the alley ways in LA. Just spent some time watching Captain Forehead himself. Been spending most of my time watching him, and how pathetic does he look. Wish I could just jump on down there and show him a thing or two. But I’ll wait for that one, wouldn’t want any of his friends going after me and not being able to fight back because of the chip. Only have a few days to wait, got myself the appointment with my source. They said it should only take a few minutes and bam it’ll be gone.

Leaning up against a brick wall I pull out my pack of fags and pull one out. Lighting it up I place the pack back in my pocket. I take in the nights air for a moment when I hear something. Sounds like someone is coming, won’t they be in for a surprise.

Still can’t believe they put me in a room with Anya, what the bloody hell were they thinking with that one. Still think it’s all Angel’s fault there. What even gave them the idea to do that? Sure, we went and did the whole shagging thing once, but that was it. Just that once, nothing more then that. Wasn’t even too fond of her to being with. Next thing you know they’ll be shoving Harmony up in the room with us, that’ll be the day.

Only good thing going right now was an offer made to me. Seems that not all of Angel’s workers are for him, least one I know of that’s plotting against the sod. He should’ve known better then to become CEO of his former enemy. I already knew what he was thinking when I found out, thought he could work from inside the belly of the beast and change it from there. Never did work out that way, course they always have good intentions but you can’t bet the evil within. It tends to stand in your way a bit more, right underneath your noise, so close that you can’t even smell it coming.

Lilah wants me to help her get to him, torture him in ways. Can’t say I don’t like the sound of that. Just have to show up in front of him saying some witty remark and he gets all big eyed. Guess he’ll never learn a sodding thing.

I’m making my way down the halls of Wolfram and Hart, figure I got nothing better to do then make random appearances places. Maybe I could even run into Nancy boy himself and start some problems. Doubt that will happen at this time, probably in some big important meetings like he liked to do now a days. But hey, not like I can’t find something else to do round here.